Originally published for Marin Living Magazine.
The way humans grieve is evolving. Around 60 percent of Americans who passed away in 2023 were cremated — more than double the percentage two decades ago, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. And 52 percent of folks report attending funerals in nontraditional locations. Are Americans laying the traditional cemetery to rest?
“My experience, and I think a lot of people’s experience, is that the end-of-life moment, that funeral moment, is kind of the opposite of life-affirming, right? It really just focuses on the end of that life,” suggests Adam Tibbs, CEO of Better Place Forests. “What is really compelling about the program that Better Place has around memorialization is that it’s the opposite. While we acknowledge that life has ended, there is an embracing of the cycle of life that nature enables.”
Better Place Forests offers memorial trees in the middle of a beautiful, natural forest. There are no tombstones, just memorial markers that were designed with inspiration from the look of U.S. Geological Survey monuments. No bodies can be buried in these forests, but ashes are mixed together with local soil and wildflower seeds before being spread under the chosen memorial tree. Friends and family can also take packets of the same wildflower seeds home to plant in their own gardens.
Sandy Gibson, the co-founder of Better Place Forests, lost his dad at 10 years old, and then his mom at 11. He spent years visiting his mother’s grave in a cemetery beside a busy street, with constant traffic. Gibson imagined a better place to grieve.
“My happiest memories with my parents took place in nature. I knew there had to be a better way to remember and connect with the people we love,” Gibson says on the Better Place website.
Now, there are 10 Better Place Forests locations in the U.S., along with one partner location that just opened at the Fernwood Cemetery in Mill Valley. As part of a partnership, Better Place Forests has a two-acre parcel of forest in the Fernwood Cemetery full of about 200 memorial trees. “We’re partnering with folks who have similar values with respect to nature and the importance of nature in the experience,” says Tibbs.
Outside Marin — but still a close drive away — a resting place with Better Place Forests could be under a giant redwood in the Santa Cruz Mountains, overlooking the ocean in Mendocino County or at a Yosemite Gateway. In each location, the company also partners with the Arbor Day Foundation to plant between 25 and 500 saplings for each tree purchased.
The vision of Better Place is to build a comprehensive set of services to help with end-of-life needs. The organization’s online tool, Wishes, helps people talk about a plan before death. “It’s so taboo, but it doesn’t need to be,” says Tibbs. “By introducing nature into that conversation, it becomes a little bit less challenging to talk about.”
Most important, Tibbs says: “We are really trying to make a difference in people’s lives through this.” A difference in how we grieve, how we interact with nature, how we talk about death, and, maybe, how we are laid to rest.